love

Dear Rowan,

We celebrated Thanksgiving this last weekend with your cousins, Aunt and Uncle and Grandma and Grandpa. Everyone had a great time. And you had a really nice time, too. You didn't sleep very well, but none of us did, really. We all came down with a cold and I think it took its toll at night.
I was talking with Leah today and was saying that I'd gotten pretty sad in the midst of all the happy this past weekend. I was so proud of you and of all the kids- and was happy to see everyone together and having fun. But I couldn't help but think about you.  I was so sad you weren't able to run around the yard with the other kids. I wasn't trying to feel sorry for you- or us, I want you to know.  Sometimes it's being around other children that can remind me of the things you won't get to do.
And my dear, I sure do know that there will be loads of things you will do. And that you'll learn and grow and will experience as much of life as possible.  I know that. But I'm still sad.
Last night when I was feeding you you put your hand up by my face and I kissed your hand and tickled it with my mouth. Then you did it again, and again... Then you just held it up my my face.  And I know like I know that you are so smart.
So, Rowan. You're such a great kid- and you're taking this all in stride. You're patient with us and with Lily and you have the most beautiful smile.
I love you to the moon and back and past the stars; forever and ever.
Mommy.