You're in the bathtub and I'm sitting on the toilet typing. We had a lovely weekend with Grandma and Grandpa Hammer and you were such a great kid. You're so grown-up. It surprises me sometimes just how much you know and how much you can do. I love your personality and your spunky little spirit. I relate to you and feel such a connection to you when you get mad, frustrated, sad, embarrassed.... How you act and react during those times seems exactly how I'd like to. You can verbalize your frustrations in ways I can't (because screaming and hitting isn't acceptable when you're an adult) and I just love you for your authenticity. I doubt this makes sense- I'm trying to say-quite un-elequently that- I love you just how you are and that I think we have very similar personalities. Your daddy sees it, too, and seems to know what he's in for.
You've taken to being scared of pretty much everything lately. It started with a plastic ghost around Halloween and has spread to owls, snowmen, our bedroom lamps and our guitar. We had to take down all of the owl decals on your walls and throw them away. You'll no longer drink out of a cup that has an owl on it. We usually sleep together on Friday nights, but you won't even go into our room any longer because you swear there are scary dogs on our lamps. The guitar, though... we haven't figured that one out yet.
I want you to know how much I love you. I have been thinking a lot lately about whether we add pressure to you because of your brother's condition. I wonder if we push you more. You're a bright kid and we want to give you all opportunities to be an empathetic, smart, cultured kid... I just want to make sure we're not trying to compensate for Rowan's Lissencephaly and inability to do certain things by encouraging you to take on more?? I'm sure I'm over-thinking this, but I want to make sure we always remember that you're you independent of him and that we don't think of you as the one with abilities, the one who will go to school, the one who will be in sports. You're an amazing kid and, again, I love you just as you are.
Love, Mommy
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