Wednesday, Oct 12, 2011
Dear Lily-
You've taken to
screaming a lot lately. I'm not too sure why... maybe you want to
assert yourself? you want to be heard? or you just want to annoy me...
Regardless,
you're a great kid. You and daddy carved a pumpkin the other night
because Halloween is fast approaching. He takes it into your room and
shuts off the lights so you guys can look at it glow.
You now have
5 ponies and like to carry them around with you. You're super creative
and like to make up little stories about different characters; your
mermaid, strawberry girls, cow, ponies, and others. Everyone likes to
hug each other and the like to say, 'help me, help me!'.
I sure do
miss you when I'm at work- it's always the best part of my day; the
picking you up part. I speed over to Nikki's house and can't wait to
see your smiling little face.
And I think I kind of miss you
overall. I feel like I haven't gotten to really spend time with you in
weeks. Maybe I just need to try to be more present when we
are spending time together?
A lot has changed and you are unaware. I hope to keep it that way for a while.
Love, Mommy
Friday, September 30, 2011
Dear Lily-
This
morning I dropped you off at Nikki's house for daycare. You didn't
really want to go- wanted to stay home and play with your purple ponies I
think. You've been so great this past week travelling back and forth
to the hospital with either me or daddy to see Rowan- or to switch off,
rather. You were especially tired last night and I felt terrible for
that. You had a hard time sleeping and woke up a bunch- you do that
when you're over tired.
I just wanted you to know that I love
you so much and know all of this with Rowan will affect you. But your
dad and I are convinced that going through this with us will help you to
be a compassionate person...
We will make sure you get to do all
the things you want and that your life is wonderful. I'm not too sure
why I'm writing this- probably mother's guilt, but I just wanted you to
know that we love you so much.
I've missed you the past couple of weeks.
Love, Mommy
Monday, August 8th 2011
Dear Lily-
I've
been thinking a lot lately about how I felt when I was pregnant with
both you and with your brother. I was wondering to myself if your
personalities matched 'on the outside'. I remembered how you seemed to
move and kick pretty regularly, like all babies do, I suspect... but
that you seemed to get mad or frustrated at being trapped, or without
room, and you'd have little tantrums. You'd kick and kick relentlessly-
and then you'd wear yourself out and rest. It seems to match your
personality today, too. You are really so very smart and have such a
sweet and interesting disposition. But when you're mad, you're mad! You
have a fiery little temper, but if you're frustrated it's over as soon
as it's started.
I've
found during these times that you mostly just want a hug. You don't
really like to get in trouble- it seems like you get embarrassed or like
you feel bad... and I don't want you to feel bad, Lily. It's ok to
make mistakes. (this is me worrying about you when you're older...) So,
I just hug you and try to guide you in the ways I think are best. I
just try to love you through and through so you always know you can come
to me.
I was also thinking of some of the funny things you say and wanted to remember them:
- Watermelon = meller wadin
- "Will you hold me, mommy?"= "Can I hold you, mommy?"
- Dental floss = sloss
Love, Mommy
Monday, August 1 2011
Dear Lily-
I've
recently started this blog as a way to save memories, pictures,
stories, and my love for you. I wish I had started it sooner... I hope
these letters will chronicle your life and will help you to always
remember that you are absolutely wonderful. I love you so much.
I
went back and found some pictures I think you'll love to see. Some of
the day you were born... I should tell you the story of the day you were
born, now that I think of it!
You were due to be
born on March 26, 2009. Daddy and I were in Fargo, but there was some
really terrible flooding going on, so all of the hospitals closed and
evacuated their patients. They said that we should go to a neighboring
city either to have you or until the hospitals here in Fargo opened up
again. Your Aunt Emily and Uncle Rich live in Bismarck, and Aunt Emily
is a nurse, so we decided to go stay there for a little while. We
loaded up all of our stuff, the dogs, and some baby clothes (just in
case) and took off to Bismarck on your due date. Before we left,
though, we had to take the toilets up out of our house, close up the
drains, and shut off the water in case it flooded. It was a mess and
kind of a mad dash to get out of town. They were about to close all of
the interstates, too!
We arrived in Bismarck, and I was
huge! I was so ready to have you, but didn't know what to expect. On
Saturday, my mom and dad- your grandma and grandpa Mayer, came to
Bismarck to see Steve and I. It was almost Daddy's birthday, and we all
went out to dinner. I sure didn't feel very good, but I walked around
the mall and tried to keep up with everyone.
That
morning at about 3:00 AM I went into labor. I woke your daddy up and we
called the hospital in Bismarck to make sure they had all of my records
from Fargo. They did and told us to come right in. My contractions
came on very fast and I was starting to think you'd come soon!
We
checked into the hospital and got all ready to have you. I got into my
gown and your daddy was by my side. He held my hand and got me water
to drink. We were so nervous and excited. There was a time during my
labor with you that your heartbeat began to slow, so I had to change
positions and we had to make sure you were getting enough oxygen.
Eventually the doctor came in and I started to try to push you out. The
doctor thought you were a big baby and you weren't coming as fast as he
thought you should have. He gave me an epesiotomy and had to help you
get out with an instrument that suctioned you out. You came soon
enough, and the doctor laid you on my chest. I wish I could describe
that feeling, Lily... I had gone from only being able to feel you move
and kick and wonder what you looked like to touching your warm, soft
skin. Your little voice squalked and you had the sweetest poutiest look
on your face. We cried and welcomed you and in an instant we were
changed.
Grandma and Grandpa Mayer happened to still
be in town, so they came over eventually- and Aunt Emily was there the
whole time taking pictures! We had you at 2:16 in the afternoon and it
was so wonderful. You were tiny; only 5 pounds 14 ounces. The doctor
was pretty wrong about your size... I think I was so chubby, he thought
you were big!
The nurses made sure you were ok and
the doctor made sure I was ok. Then they moved us all to a family room
so we could have some more space and could be together...A few hours
after I had you I didn't feel very well. I had to go into surgery, so
Daddy stayed with you. I was scared and Daddy was scared, but mommy's
best friends, Leah, Lynnette, and Kirsten had driven all the way from
Fargo to see you, so they stayed with Daddy. Grandma Joyce was also
there.
That night there was a terrible blizzard! Twenty
inches of show! The girls got stuck in Bismarck and had to stay in a
hotel room. But they didn't care- they were so happy to meet you.
You,
Daddy, and I stayed in our hospital room for a couple more days. We
held you and kissed you- I nursed you and changed your little diapers.
We think those were some of the best moments of our lives. You were
here, Lily, and our lives had changed. Our hearts had changed... We
were never the same again.
There is nothing your
daddy and I wouldn't do for you. We love you more than anything in this
whole world, Lily. You are wonderful.
Love, Mommy.
 |
| your 'Castle' from Grandma Joyce |
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| You look so much alike! |
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| Grandma and Grandpa Mayer think you're just wonderful |
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| The first time you held your brother, Rowan |
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| Hanging out with Grandpa Doug |
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| Playing with Daddy's 'toys' |
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| Grandma Joyce thinks you're so sweet |
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| Great Grandma GG loves you so much! |
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| Playing with Grandma Gretchen |
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| Daddy holding you while mommy was in surgery. |
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| What a sweet little face! |
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| Aunt Emily holding you |
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| Mommy and Daddy are so happy to meet you |
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| With cousin Canyon on your 2nd Birthday |
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| Helping Grandma Joyce cook crepes |
